I can adapt to a lot more than I thought I could.
Before my injury, I had a busy social calendar and would get angry or upset if there was any disruption to my preset plans. During my senior year of college, COVID-19 played a major role in dictating everyone's plans. A single phone call from a congested friend saying they had been exposed could derail your next two weeks. I constantly feared receiving that call—not because I was afraid of being sick, but out of fear of having to cancel my social plans for two weeks. The thought seemed unbearable. I couldn't imagine losing my autonomy for that long.
Now, because of my spinal cord injury, I have been living with little autonomy for the past 3.5 years. Yet, I feel more peaceful and accepting of this loss of independence. If college Rebecca thought she couldn't handle a two-week social void, she never would have believed she could handle losing movement from the neck down. But somehow, I did.
Just because something bad happened to me doesn't mean I've "done my time" and am now immune to future misfortune.
Unfortunately, life doesn't grant us a finite number of problems or obstacles. Just because I have one large, looming problem that dictates much of my life doesn't mean I'm free from everyday problems. I can't move anything below my neck, AND I get a stomach ache from dairy.
I first learned this lesson a few years ago when I was a fresh-faced, newly-injured quadriplegic. A friend from physical therapy, also quadriplegic, was having multiple biopsies because doctors suspected he might have cancer. For a moment, I thought, "Surely, he can't have cancer—he already has quadriplegia." Then, logic kicked in. There's nothing about his quadriplegia that exempts him from getting cancer. I realized I'm just as susceptible to real-world problems as anyone else. In a way, it's refreshing to relate to others because that's often something I struggle with. But on the other hand, I feel like I have enough to deal with already.
It's okay to ask for and accept help.
Before my injury, I was repulsed by the idea of accepting help. I always felt like a burden if anyone assisted me. But now, I'm in a position where I have to accept help. By "help," I don't just mean the daily assistance I need from a nurse or aide to carry out my activities of daily living. "Help" also means the generosity I receive from friends, family, and the community. For example, family friends have offered to drive me places if needed. Normally, I would have never accepted such favors, feeling too guilty. But now, I see things differently. Accepting help makes my life so much easier. Plus, people WANT to help—they wouldn't offer if they didn't. Allowing myself to accept help has changed my life. Accepting rides from family and friends has given me more freedom, and I've been able to do extraordinary things. I've sat in the front row at multiple concerts and even been on the field for batting practice at Yankee Stadium—all because people wanted to help. Why deny myself more freedom and experiences by rejecting their kindness?
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